Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Location: Cleveland, OH
|Posted: Dec Sun 17, 2006 2:01 pm Post subject: Leader's Journey
Today's Musings: Giving Voice Now, I know that many of you are working on the planting seeds topic from last week and we will get back to your gardening projects in a few weeks. I'd like to move to the side for a moment and talk about voicing and languaging. What do you give voice to? How do you language or say it? How do your words, expression, sound, tone, tempo affect the message you are sending? Is your voice expressing the YOU that YOU really want to be / become?
This was and still is one of the most "ah-ha" experiences I have ever had personally. Observing what I "give voice" to and how I language things has made a SIGNIFICANT difference in my life. It truly changed my Leader's Journey. When I really began to watch and notice what I said and how I said it When I got clear on what I really wanted for my life and what I wanted for people in my circle of influence—and then observed how what I said brought me closer to what I wanted, or created more distance from what I wanted—whew!!!!!! Powerful – very powerful!!!!
We get caught up in the daily doings of our days. We speak without thinking, without being clear about what we are really saying, without considering what our words can do to another person, only that they get out of our mouth and may make us feel good for a time. This is not leadership. It may be attempts at power, or control, or manipulation, or ego gratification. but - if we were to be honest with ourselves - if we were to tell the truth to ourselves - little of it creates what we want in our lives.
Being clear about what you want in your life is critical here – no one is promised tomorrow - so life becomes about today - making each today a "best today" - clarity about what a "best today" looks like, feels like - All the "best todays" we each get then link together to create a great life as we reflect back upon it - As we are verbal creatures, words have so much power and how words are expressed can make the biggest difference not only to others around us but to us individually as well—to each of us creating our "best todays."
When clients ask for help in languaging things, my questions back to them sound like this :
--What do you want to have happen—be the result? --Do you want to control the situation or another person, have them do your bidding, do "it" your way? --Is there anything going on inside you that someone else is about to potentially pay an emotional price for? --Will what you say, and how you say it, forward your action? The relationship?? Now, think about the answers to these questions and then go say what you want to say.
YOUR bottom line & the COACH'S CHALLENGE - - If we believe that leadership is about influence, we must recognize that we are all leaders, potential leaders, leaders-in-training > every day AND in all interactions. You can influence people in all the roles you play—manager, co-worker, friend, parent, spouse, etc.
Your words carry power, and as the sender of those words, you must learn to use your power for good—not the dark side—a stronger force because it takes less thought to come from the dark side. Ego wins over truth on the dark side. Cheap shots make you feel good but can wreak havoc on the very relationships you are trying to make work.
Watch your voice
- Examine what you give expression to,
- Where do your words come from?
• an "ego" ? -
• I'm right, you're wrong place
• a "we're all in this together place"
• a "let's make this a loving family" place
• a "you're important to me" place
• a ????????? place
The challenge is to stop, take a breath (it only feels like a long breath when you first start), does a mental calculation about what you really want to happen and then speak.
The more you do this the faster it will happen. It will become naturally part of the YOU that YOU are and are becoming. You will find your voice becoming more powerful because it is coming from a place of truth, not ego. Magical relationships will take root (see I did get the planting stuff in after all) and will you will get what you want and no one's expense!!!!!!!!
LEADER IN YOU Web Site: www.leaderinyou.com
The Leader's Journey shared with love by firstname.lastname@example.org